WE were second best all over the pitch against Carlisle United on Tuesday.

It was so frustrating because we trained and prepared well and the spirit in the camp before the match was fantastic.

But to lose in the way we did, when we just lay down for them, was very disappointing.

Some of the Carlisle players came off the pitch afterwards and they were smiling, like they had not even been troubled all night.

If I was playing we may still have lost 3-0, but at least one or two of their players would have come off knowing they had been in a game.

Things are very stretched at the moment and a few people have been asking when I will be back, but I don't want to rush things.

I have only played 45 minutes of football in seven months and that is hardly the right preparation for a trip to Southend on Saturday.

When I do come back I want to be fully fit so I don't let myself, my teammates and the fans of Swindon Town down.

The last thing I want is for a goal to go in because I am not up to the pace of the game.

But there's no denying we are down to the bare bones at the moment.

I counted at least five regular first team starters who couldn't be involved at Carlisle.

All managers have to deal with that at some point so we just have to play the hand we have been dealt.

The lads that have come in are all highly capable but we need to see three things from them: commitment, passion and effort.

If we don't get those three things, and we miss our tackles and headers then we will get turned over by the likes of Carlisle reserves, let alone their first team.

We've got another tough trip away to Southend this weekend and we have to give the fans a reason to follow us.

The away support has been phenomenal during my 18 months here but they won't put up with too many more performances like Tuesday.

We made sure all the players went over to applaud the fans for making the long trip to Carlisle.

It's not a nice feeling to have to stand in front of the supporters and clap when you've just been turned over, but we felt it was the right thing to do.

The good thing about football is that there is always another match a few days later in which to put things right.

We will train today and tomorrow as if we won 3-0 on Tuesday to keep spirits high.

Both myself and Budgie will be looking for a massive improvement on Saturday.

Win, lose or draw we want to see a performance more than anything. Hopefully we will get it.

3:48pm Thursday 6th December 2007

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